We’ve always wondered what Bali must have been like 30 years ago…before the crowds of tourists, before the traffic jams, before the growth. Well, I think we found the answer when we drove to Sidemen. This little village is set in a lush valley in the shadow of volcanic Mt. Agung. When our car entered the village, we had to pull over to the side of the road for a funeral procession. It appeared like the entire population of this 300 person village marched through the street on way to the graveyard. The coffin, draped in white and flowers, was carried on the shoulders of 20 or so strong men. Women and men were dressed in traditional Balinese sarongs. Music was played, people were smiling…it was a celebration, not a mourning. While Balinese law used to dictate a body must be burned within two weeks of a death, this village often waits months, until 10 or so bodies have accumulated. Funerals are expensive. Bones/bodies are dug up and cleaned and then there is the cremation ceremony. The cremation is followed by a feast. After the corpse(s) have been burnt, mourners collect the ashes of the deceased which are offered to the sea in a final ritual. It is believed that once the soul has been purified by fire which represents earth, it must be purified by water so it may return to heaven to begin the process of reincarnation. According to tradition, the deceased returns to human life in the form of the next born family member after these rituals. White is the color of mourning.

This was our introduction to Sidemen. It is quiet here and all around you are fields and terraces of rice and vegetables. Little shacks offering shade to cows dot the fields. And everywhere is green…green rice plants, green, dense jungle with green palm trees jutting toward the skies. Fields are plowed by hand, with oxen and plow. It is like time has forgotten this valley. It is good to know there are still spots in the world of ours like this.

We stayed in an amazing 21 room boutique hotel owned by the Balinese people called Wapa di Uma. We had this room with an outdoor shower, a marble soaking tub, and our own infinity swimming pool. We looked out over the river and over to the Sleeping Elephant Hill. Magical. And the spa here was way too cool….the massage rooms were open to the air, the breezes and the sounds of birds.

Each day we trekked through the rice fields, across rivers, up and down terraces. We came across families taking baths in the river, cleaning clothes in the canals, or just resting in the shade. And always you get a warm Balinese smile. Two elementary age children cleaning dishes in a canal tried out their English on us…”Hello, How are you?” Me, “Very well, and how are you?” Big smiles and then, “Pretty good. giggle, giggle, giggle.”

Perhaps because we are getting older, or maybe we have old souls, but these few days here in Sidemen were by far our favorites. It is so restful here and life slows down. It took our ears a bit to get used to the quiet, to hear the songs of birds and chirps of crickets. You feel your body just relax. We hope Sidemen can stay this way, but we know it won’t. Just glad we had the opportunity to soak it all in. In months and years to come, I’m sure we will be able to close our eyes and remember this slice of serenity.

And with all journeys, this one comes to a close. Tomorrow we will fly to Singapore for a few days, and then home.

Goodbye Bali. Thank you for the memories.

Our trip to Kuala Lumpur was to connect with friends, to visit, to eat and visit some more. Our trip to Bali was just to relax…and eat, and eat, and eat some more.

We stayed first in Ubud, rented a little airbnb villa with our own pool. At most Airbnbs, you are pretty much on your own, so we were so surprised that we had a 24 hour attendant to look out for our needs. Breakfast was served to us each morning, cooked in our outdoor kitchen. Our bed was made up daily complete with towels folded into swans. The entire villa cleaned spotless. And once, when I got sick, a scooter ride to the pharmacy. Now that is service!!!!! And the cost was $90.00 USD per day.

Eating Our Way Through Bali
While in Ubud we visited several nearby waterfalls and temples, a coffee plantation, hiked Kapuhan Ridge, and we ate at some pretty amazing restaurants, world class restaurants.

Going to a waterfall in Bali is quite a bit different than say hiking to a falls in Mt. Rainier National Park. Most of the falls are owned by a village and it becomes a commercial venture. There is usually an entrance fee and they’ll be attendants to steer you into a parking lot. Next you will need to walk by shop after shop selling touristy what-nots, food, and drinks. Once you make it through that gauntlet, you start down the path to the falls. Along the way you will find photo props like big hearts made out of twigs or giant bird nests where you climb in and have a pic taken. And at the falls you will need to use all your patience to catch a shot of the water cascading over the precipice without all the Instagram hungry posing this way or that. But the falls are beautiful and usually worth the effort.



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Temples are everywhere in Bali, in fact there are more temples than there are people. Every home will house numerous temples where they pray and give offerings. There are local temples that range from village temples to those with great Balinese significance. There are many smaller temples like irrigation temples set in rice fields. You usually enter a temple from the south through a split gate called a candi bentar. Most temples will be enclosed by walls and will consist of at least three courtyards. There is much meaning and significance to the courtyards. Appropriate attire is required at all the temples and usually they have sarongs to rent or borrow. Depending upon the temple, there can be huge crowds. We were going to go the Pura Luhur Lempuyang, The Stairway to Heaven Temple, that has this amazing view of Mt. Agung framed between the entry gate. But we heard there was up to a 5 hour wait just to get your chance at a picture in front of the gate. Regrettably we chose to forego that visit.

And now onward to the food…..

Apéritif
Apéritif is what you might call a cozy, high-end destination dining in Bali. It is located at the premiere luxury resort Viceroy Bali tucked on the side of a lush remote river valley just outside Ubud. We started the night at another restaurant at the Viceroy called CasCades….wanted to grab a cocktail before dinner. We were sat at a bar table overlooking the most amazing valley as we watched the jungle turn colors with the setting sun. It was here we found the best tasting mojito of the trip.

We were then provided a ride to Apéritif in one of the Viceroy’s passenger carts. You enter through this gorgeous hallway and are led to the bar for your aperitif. We chose to sit on the deck instead of in the bar…the view is beautiful. It was here our dining experience began. First a couple of drinks…our Apéritif. Then came three different appetizers, each one more spectacular than the next.

Then we were led into the dining room…a large elegant space with the most modern, stainless steel kitchen you have ever seen. We got to meet Chef Alex, the pastry chef, and sample one of his creations. At our table we selected the 8 course (it turned out to be about 16 courses) degustation menu complete with wine pairings. And then for the next couple of hours plate after plate of this most amazing food came to our table, often accompanied by a chef to explain everything to us. And with each course along came Madhe Yudiana, the sommelier, with our wine pairing. And the pours were not small. So we already had a couple cocktails, and now we were drinking glass after glass of wine from all over the world….our livers got a good workout!!!! For the Venison Wellington, Head Chef Nic came to our table to serve us. We aren’t fans of venison, but we loved this version. Service at Apéritif is stellar; a most pleasant combination of Indonesian friendliness, European sensibility, and Japanese efficiency. We left fat, satisfied and more than a little tipsy!!!!

Locavore
Next up for us was Locavore, set right downtown Ubud. Locavore has been listed as one of the top restaurants in the world….this year was number 26 in all of Asia. It is much more of an intimate experience, smaller in scale, but with the same dedication to fine dining using locally source ingredients. A good friend of ours knows the chef here at Locavore, and while he was too busy to come and talk with us, unbeknownst to us, he had the wait staff add additional courses to our meal. So sweet!!!

When we were seated, the first thing that came to our table was a plate filled with edible flowers. Our waitress told to enjoy!!!! We ate our way through the flowers and there, under all the petals was the menu…SURPRISE!!!! So creative.

We chose not to go with the wine pairing, instead selected drinks from their custom cocktail list. And then, like at Aperitif, plate after plate arrived at our table, each one creatively plated. I think we had at least 5 desserts. We rolled out of this restaurant with contented bellies and sober enough to walk back to our villa.

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Cuca
Last, but certainly not least, was Cuca. We have been here 5 times and it never gets old. Located down in Jimbaran, about an hour drive from Ubud, we arrived early enough to take a walk on the beach and grab a cocktail at the Sunset Grill at the Intercontinental Hotel. There on the grounds of the hotel we caught the last ten minutes of a mass wedding. Approximately 50 couples from China all got hitched at the same time. The ceremony had more of a game show atmosphere complete with balloons and a rousing send off. Then it was down to the beach for after-wedding photos!!!!

The Sunset Bar and Grill is another one of our favorite spots. You take your flip-flops off and let your toes dig around in the sand, sip on an adult beverage or two, and watch the sun set into the sea. Doesn’t get much better than that.

At Cuca we sat overlooking the kitchen…love the see the action. The food is tapa syle with flavors that just pop in your mouth and always so fun. We met with Chef Kevin (thanks again to our food blogging friend) and he treated us to a tour of the restaurant and after dinner drinks on the outdoor patio. He is such a great guy….loved his vision, his passion for creating exceptional food, and his zest for life.

It is time for us to say goodbye to the hustle and bustle of Ubud. Next stop will be the peace and serenity of Sidemen.

We wanted to go back to Kuala Lumpur to visit some of the sites, eateries, and spas we loved so much when we lived there. We wanted to go back to visit the new school….the school we spent so many hours scouring over blueprints, conferring with architects, and getting input from constituents. But above all, we wanted to go back and visit with all our friends, so many friends near and dear to our hearts.

Sites and Eateries

We thought we might have more time for exploring, but instead we spent the bulk of our time visiting with friends. But one day we went to ChinaTown to find this new little alley. It is called Kwai Chai Hong, its Cantonese meaning translated to Ghost Alley or Little Demon Alley. In years past, this alley was a blight on the neighborhood, really ratty. But now it has been transformed into a street art paradise.

One night, friends took us to dinner at a new Indian restaurant and afterwards we went looking for this cool little speakeasy. Speakeasies are popping up all over KL. Some are easy to find, others truly hidden. Half the fun is finding them. PS150 is the name of our destination and is located just outside Chinatown in an old building that used to be a brothel. To find it, you have to locate a toy store, or what looks like a toy store. It is a fake front, and you are let in through a door in the back. You head down a long alley decorated as an opium den of old, then through a couple more doors and finally you have make it to the bar. Drinks were fantastic.

When we were done, we went looking for another speakeasy purported to be in the vicinity. After looking for a bit, I found an open door leading to a stairway and a man standing outside. I thought…this has to be it!!! I asked the man, “What’s upstairs?” His straight-face answer, “Girls”. So we had been in a former brothel and then we go and find a real one!!!! Too funny!!!

Kuala Lumpur is a foodie’s paradise and so we were looking forward to eating here again. Our favorite restaurant, La Mexicana, had closed, but we were able to visit some old favorites and a few new ones. We also were on a search for the best tasting Mojito.

The New School and All Our Wonderful Friends
The new school is AMAZING and it is HUGE. Complete with a 50 meter, 10 lane swimming pool, a 25 meter, six lane swimming pool, a learn-to-swim pool, two massive libraries, underground parking, a maker lab in the elementary school, the list goes on and on and on. It takes forever to walk from one end to the other and is four levels high. The elementary has their playground and cafeteria on the roof. The performance theatre seats over 700. It is the first school in all of Malaysia to receive the Green Building Index Platinum rating. It was fun so see the fruition of all the hard work that went into planning this school. We spent the better part of two days exploring this facility and meeting with all the people.

We were so touched by the reception we received. One staff member heard we were coming and drove all the way from her home by the airport (one hour away) just to see us. A couple others bought new outfits to wear. We had dinner with the Head of School, another dinner with one of the art teachers, another with counselor and tech coordinator, another with the former HR Director, and lunches with my former secretary and her family, and with a former art teacher and PE teacher, and drinks with one of the first grade teachers. Unfortunately, most faculty had already left for the summer, and maybe that was good as we were going out all the time. Such a good feeling being with all our friends.

It was good to be back in Malaysia and Kuala Lumpur. It was good to see the school and connect again with friends. But after 10 days it was time to leave. Time to fly to Bali for new adventures. Goodbye Malaysia….we will miss you.

We have been to San Francisco a number of times and have visited most of the regular tourist spots…Alcatraz, Ghirardelli Square, Fisherman’s Wharf, China Town. We rode the cable cars, walked across the Golden Gate Bridge, and climbed up to Coit Tower. So this trip we decided to try and visit a few of our favorites, but also to discover some of the “Hidden Gems” in this City by the Bay.

The 16th Avenue Tiled Steps
What do you do with an ugly 163 step stairway in your neighborhood? Well if were a resident in the Golden Gate Heights neighborhood back in 2003, you come together with a plan to beautify the steps. You hire two talented artists who enlist the help of everyone in the neighborhood in creating a flowing mosaic with a Sea to Sky theme. And when completed, you add beautiful gardens up and down each side, and you have a work of art in your backyard. These steps are just gorgeous.

The Golden Fire Hydrant
In 1906, a massive earthquake hit San Francisco. The following day a fire started down by the wharves. Since the earthquake broke the water mains, there was no water in the hydrants and the fire burned up the hill for three days, destroying almost the entire city. Except there was one fire hydrant, up by Delores Park that somehow had water. And because of that, homes in the area were saved. These homes are still standing and are some of the oldest homes in the entire city. Each year, the city of San Francisco maintenance department comes up to Delores Park and gives this hydrant a fresh coat of GOLD paint. There is also a plaque in the cement next to the hydrant commemorating the event. Pretty cool bit of history.

Street Art
Street art abounds in San Francisco, but perhaps no place better than Clarion Alley and Balmy Alley. Both are in the Mission District, about a mile and a half apart. Almost every inch of the alleyways are painted…over garage doors, around window, on fences…murals that are whimsical or send a political or social message. And they are forever changing…as soon as one begins to fade, it is replaced with a new one.

Clarion Alley

Balmy Alley

Lands End

In the far northwest corner of San Francisco lies Lands End….and a trail that winds along this rough stretch of coastline with jaw-dropping views of the Golden Gate and out to the deep blue of the Pacific. Wind-carved cypress trees cling to the cliffs, hawks hang stationary in the wind currents hunting for mice, wild lilies somehow find a way to bloom. Here too, you will find two “hidden gems”….the ruins of Sutro Baths and the Lands End Labyrinth.

Sutro Baths
Built in 1896 by self-made millionaire and one-time mayor of San Francisco, Adolf Sutro, Sutro Baths was an extravagant public bath-house There were six salt-water pools and one fresh water pool….slides, swinging rings and a spring-board for diving. The pools would fill each day with the high tide waters of the Pacific. Quite a popular spot for San Francisco-ites. Today there are only ruins, but you can get a feel for what it once looked like. The tunnel where the water flowed into the pools is still there. The only swimmers now are ducks and geese.

Lands End Labyrinth
Built in secret by San Francisco artist Eduardo Aguilera back in 2004 on Eagle Point just past Mile Rock Beach. Made by placing stones into a classic seven-circuit Chartres labyrinth, Eduardo wanted to keep his creation a secret, but it was quickly discovered by hikers. Enter at one end and make your way slowly to the center…actually takes a bit of time. Views to the Golden Gate Bridge are spectacular.

Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory
The Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory is located in Ross Alley in the middle of China Town. Ross Alley was once frequented by men in search of one of the many brothels that called the alley home. Now men, women and children come in search of this amazing little factory. You smell the sweet scent of the fortune cookie well before you enter the doors. Inside are a couple of mechanized, circular griddles….a mixture of flour, sesame oil, vanilla (that is all they would tell me of their recipe…quite the secret) would be squirted onto an open griddle pan. The pan would then close and around it would go baking in about 3 minutes, and then the pan would re-open in time for an attendant to pick it off, add a fortune and then while still pliable, bend it to the traditional shape…whoa-lah!!!!! A fortune cookie. And they give you a free sample. Besides the traditional fortune cookie, you can also purchase ones made with chocolate, green tea or almond. Delicious and fun!!!!

Golden Gate Park

Golden Gate Park is a world-class urban park. Larger in size than either Central Park in New York City or Stanley Park in Vancouver B.C., Golden Gate Park stretches almost half-way across San Francisco….and within its boundaries are quite a few hidden gems.

Wind Mills
You just don’t expect to find Dutch style windmills in San Francisco, but on the far-western edge of the park lie two such windmills. On the southern corner is Murphy Windmill. Built around 1902, it was the largest windmill of its kind in the world. What is unique about this windmill, is the sails turn clockwise instead of the traditional counter-clockwise you will find in the mills in the Netherlands.

To the North, about a mile away, is Dutch Windmill. Built just before Murphy Windmill at the cost of approximately $25,000.00, this one is surrounded by beautiful gardens with thousands of tulips. Just lovely spot to visit and fun to discover.

Japanese Tea Garden
Located next to the de Young Museum is the Japanese Tea Garden. These gardens are the oldest public Japanese gardens in the United States…and so beautiful they are. Sad story behind these gardens. They were built on a one acre lot back in 1894 for the California Midwinter International Exposition. Mr. Makoto Hagiwara was the landscape architect and after the exposition was allowed to stay on as caretaker of the garden. He threw his whole life into the care and expansion (to the current 5 acres) of the garden, including his personal wealth, time and passion. He created this spot of serenity, perfection and peace. He and his family lived on the property until 1942 when they were “relocated” to an internment camp. After the war they were not allowed back to their home in the garden. Not a proud moment in American history. But today you can walk through this beautiful garden and enjoy the peace and solitude (when it isn’t full of visitors) The bridge is a real work of art. Mon., Wed., and Friday admission is free if you arrive prior to 10:00.

City Light Books
There are so many wonderful bookstores around the world. And here in San Francisco, one of those special stores is City Light Booksellers and Publishers. Not only is it the oldest bookstore in San Francisco, it was once “home” to many a beat poet. Climb upstairs to the poetry floor and you can hear the words of Allen Ginsburg, Lawrence Ferlinghetti (the owner of the store), Jack Kerouac, William S. Burroughs, and many more. The rooms of this bookstore drip with history. If you go to the City Light Booksellers website, you will see this description of the store: “Founded in 1953 by poet Lawrence Ferlinghetti and Peter D. Martin, City Lights is one of the truly great independent bookstores in the United States, a place where booklovers from across the country and around the world come to browse, read, and just soak in the ambiance of alternative culture’s only “Literary Landmark.”. Definitely a place to visit.

Coit Tower City Guide Tour
We’ve been to Coit Tower before, love the views, love the murals….but today we were lucky enough to be there in time for a free tour put on by City Guides. We’re usually not one for tours, but this one was so specialized we couldn’t pass it up. Learned all about the history of Coit Tower and the background on all the murals. We even got to go up the stairway to the second floor and see the murals in the stairwell and around the floor. Quite spectacular.

There are 27 murals altogether, created by 26 artists, almost all of them were done fresco…painted on freshly laid plaster. Loved to see that several of the artists were women (4 of them) and a number of them either worked with or were greatly influenced by Diego Rivera. Interesting fact…the artists were paid $1.00 an hour and worked 38 hours per week. (in today’s money, that would be about $19.00 an hour….above minimum wage!!!!) The murals were all painted at the same time during a 3 month period and the colors all look similar because there was one assistant whose job was to grind and mix all the pigments….thus the similarity throughout. The free tours are on Wednesday and Saturday at 11:00 am.

Walt Disney Family Museum
Diane Disney, Walt’s daughter, was getting concerned that her father was being forgotten. Surveys showed the younger generations knew of the Disney Corporation, but not the man behind it. So she went about creating the Walt Disney Family Museum dedicated to the life and legacy of Walt Disney. Located in the Presidio, it is a must visit for any Disney fan. As you walk through the museum, you in essence walk through Walt’s life starting with his early years, move to Hollywood, all the way to his death in 1966. One of the most impressive sights is in the very first room….a sort of trophy room. There behind glass cases stand all the Golden Globe Awards, All the Emmies, and all the Oscars….quite impressive. We really enjoyed this museum and learned so much about the genius of Walt Disney.

Churches
Beautiful churches in San Francisco, some with amazing history. We love to stop in and visit

San Francisco has to be one of our favorite cities in all the world. It was a blast looking beyond the major tourist attractions and finding all those “hidden gems”.

Molokai holds a special place in our hearts. We have been coming here since 2004, and when we tell people we are coming to Molokai, their jaws drop and they ask us, “Why?”…. No one visits Molokai!!! There is nothing there!!!!! Even our friends who live in Hawaii say they never venture to the “Friendly Isle” And the buzz about the island is the people are anything but friendly. There are no nightclubs, you can count the restaurants on your fingers, no zip lining, helicopter flights, luau extravaganzas, or ABC Stores. There isn’t even a stop light on the entire island or a building over three stories high. But we LOVE this island.

What draws us? Empty, pristine beaches. Privacy, peacefulness, spiritualness, wildness. The opportunity to just “escape” from it all. A place to just unplug and unwind.

We’ve brought friends and relatives here to Molokai. We’ve celebrated birthdays, and have experienced two marriage proposals. We regularly share “our” beaches with seals, amaze at the pods of spinner dolphins that cruise by, and now and then we catch glimpses of those elusive Axis deer.

THINGS TO DO
Contrary to popular belief, there are “things” to do on Molokai, and we’ve done just about all of them.

KALAUPAPA (leper colony)

This place tugs on your heart…perhaps that is why we have visited five times. Kalaupapa is the location of the leper colony that was established in the 1860’s. This peninsula was the perfect location for the colony as escape was near impossible….rough seas on three sides backed up against some of the highest sea cliffs in the world. Leprosy (Hansen’s Disease)….so feared was this disease that bounty hunters were handsomely paid $10.00 for each suspected leprosy victim reported to the Board of Health. Young children were yanked from schools and sent directly to Kalaupapa, fearful and crying for their mothers. In the early days, the sea captains would often anchor offshore and force those afflicted to swim for shore. Kalaupapa was where Father Damien (recently sainted) did his selfless work and eventually succumbed to the disease. This is also where Mother Marianne Cope (also sainted) cared for the hundreds of patients and developed medical structures and hygienic procedures for those suffering.

To take the tour, you must first secure a permit, only 100 visitors are allowed per day, and you must find your way down. There used to be a mule company where you risked a sore butt and your wallet was lightened at the tune of $209.00 per person, but that company has closed shop. You can fly…but that is even more pricy. Or you can hike the rugged 3.5 mile trail….down 26 switchbacks, almost 2000 feet to sea level. We have always hiked. Some highlights of the tour is the small Philomena Church, Father Damien’s grave (only his right hand is buried here….he was with a Belgium order and they took his body back to Belgium to be buried but sent his right hand back to Kalaupapa…the right hand signifying the work he did), Mother Marianne’s Grave, and a trip to the location of original settlement. If your bus goes out to the airport to pick anyone up, you will see grave after grave of the 8000 people who perished here.

I hear there are only 5 residents left in the village. It is still unclear what will happen to the peninsula once the last resident passes. If you are on Molokai, it is definitely worth your while to visit this No. 1 tourist destination on the untouristy Hawaiian island of Molokai.

HALAWA VALLEY

The east side of the island is lush and green and at the end of the road lies Halawa Valley. This valley is the oldest, continuously inhabited spot in all of Hawaii and holds great cultural significance. Here you can hike to several waterfalls. Because most of the valley is privately owned land, you no longer can hike to the falls on your own. There are several tours, all pretty good, and most take you to Moa’ula Falls. Name of falls – moa-ula – means: “red lizard”. This name originates from a popular legend telling that water spirit – mo’o – in a form of lizard still is living in the deep pool below the falls. He might attack people who swim here. Before swimming, the mood of mo’o should be tested with a ti leaf dropped in the water. If it floats – it is safe to swim. If not – better don’t, lizard is annoyed. The water is unbelievably cold and the closer you get to the falls you experience what water feels like when it has dropped 250 feet…kind of like a sand blasting.

In its heyday, this valley was home to over 5000 people. Rock walls, that terraced the valley and held over 1200 taro patches, can still be found in the valley. At the mouth of river is a gorgeous black sand beach and often surfers can be seen riding the breaks here.

KAMAKOU PRESERVE

Just east of Kaunakakai and near the summit of Molokai’s highest mountain, is the Kamakou Preserve. You will need a four-wheel drive vehicle to get here you better hope it doesn’t rain (gets a bit slippery, well, a lot slippery)

Kamakou Preserve is a place so hidden and pristine that it might feel like you’re the first to discover it. The nearly 2,774-acre preserve is Molokai the way Mother Nature intended.

Here you will see (if you know what you are looking for or you have a knowledgeable guide) 250 rare Hawaiian plants, 219 of which can be found nowhere else in the world. If you are lucky, you might hear the song of the olomao (Molokai thrush) and kawawahie (Molokai creeper), two birds nearing extinction. A short hike, 3-mile round-trip, most of it on a narrow boardwalk through unspoiled rain forest. This boardwalk is a mere 6 inches wide better pray you do not fall off for the bog it traverses is quite deep. The view at the end, down into the lush Waikolu Valley, is breathtaking.

BEACHES

Beautiful, unspoiled beaches populate Molokai. Beaches pretty much devoid of people, where you snag a spot of sand and call it your own for the day knowing you will not be interrupted or crowded out. I think the most beautiful beaches in the world are in Hawaii….and Molokai contains many of them.

Molokai is not for everyone. We love it the way it is and we know the people of Molokai will continue to fiercely protect this special isle. And whenever we need a break from this crazy world of ours, we will sneak away to Molokai, for indeed, it is Mo’bettah!!!!

My father was a complicated man. He was born in New York City, in Brooklyn, in a tough, poor neighborhood. His father died early in his life, cirrhosis of the liver, drank himself to death. As a teenager, my father got involved with an unsavory group and to escape he enlisted in the Marine Corps. The way he told it, “It was enlist or get killed” He chose the Marines for they were “bad ass” and he felt he could save face with the gang he left. He didn’t meet the minimum age requirement, but his mother lied for him swearing he was of age.

He loved the Marines. He found a family there, people he could depend upon, three square meals, people who “had his back”. He loved the routines, the order, the challenge, the camaraderie. He found purpose and believed wholeheartedly in the mission of the Marines. He could sing the Marine Corps hymn by heart and every November 10th he celebrated the anniversary of the founding of the Marine Corps.

My father served in the Korean Conflict and the Vietnam War. He never shared much of what went on no matter how many times we asked. When I informed him I visited Da Nang and HoiAn in Vietnam, he let slip some good times there swimming in a river, each man taking turns manning the machine gun to keep them safe. My father was a good Marine…he retired a First Sergeant, as far as he could go as an enlisted man.

At home, I think my father wished he could run the family as he did his platoon. But families don’t always work that way. His three children didn’t all fall in line. We certainly didn’t have a “Leave it to Beaver” family. Dad struggled with the concept of family, but I know he tried his best. And considering where he came from, I’d say he did alright. I know he loved each and every one of us, though he showed it differently. And he was married to the same woman for 65 years. That says something.

Some of the best times (and worst) was when we were all crammed into whatever car we owned, ready for another move. Dad always said he had “wanderlust” and he loved to move. He believed in marathon driving….we would take off early in the morning and dad would drive all day. We would stop for quick meal breaks. If there was a “point of interest” dad would stop and say, “There’s the Painted Desert…take a good look, you have 5 minutes.” and back on the road we would go. Instead of stopping for the night, dad would throw us some blankets and we would sleep in the seats as he drove all night, followed by another full day of driving and then, finally, a night in a motel. We criss-crossed the country several times this way as we went from one assignment to the next. My sisters and I would argue like crazy over who got stuck in the middle. I think I averaged one school per grade level….four different high schools. Perhaps some of his wanderlust fell upon me as I definitely have the travel bug. I think a small part of his wanting to be buried at Arlington was so we would all get another opportunity to take a trip.

My sisters and I have a lifetime of crazy stories…some hilarious, others heartbreaking and sad. But somehow we all made it through…our souls and psyche filled with cuts, scrapes, bruises and scars….most of which have healed…but also smiles and laughter, and dare I say, love.

Parents bring you into this world, they protect you and keep you safe. They teach you as much as they can. They are always there, even as you grow into adulthood. It is difficult to comprehend when they depart…and then, one day they are gone. As much as my father and I butted heads, I miss him. I loved him. I wanted to do him proud.

He was buried at Arlington February 6, 2018. The service was one of honor and respect. He received a 21 gun salute and a playing of taps. Six Marine body bearers carried my father to his final resting spot. The folding of the flag was like a ballet, each movement choreographed, precise, practiced. My father is at rest now with the family I believe he felt most at home with, he is now forever surrounded by his brothers and sisters in arms. Semper Fi, Dad….rest in peace.

I miss you Dad.

Arlington…a place of remembrance and honor. Everyone should visit once in their life.

The Tomb of the Unknown is so moving. It is guarded 24/7….through all weather…snow, heat, rain, bone chilling temperatures…doesn’t matter, a sentry will be there. They walk back and forth on a black mat….21 steps forward, stop and turn toward the tomb, wait 21 seconds. Turn toward the direction to walk, place rifle on shoulder away from the tomb, wait 21 seconds, repeat. Over and over again. It is a very solemn location. You feel honored to be there.

Kennedy’s Gravesite. Designed by Jacqueline Kennedy, she insisted upon an eternal flame, similar to the one at the Tomb of the Unknown in France. JFK and Jacqueline are buried here. To the right is a small marker with the inscription; Daughter August 23, 1956. This is the grave of their little daughter, still born. It is said Jacqueline wanted to name her Arabella. To the left is another small marker, Patrick Bouvier Kennedy August 7, 1963 – August 9, 1963. The Kennedy family had their share of heartache and tragedy. Nearby are the simple gravesites of Robert Kennedy and Edward Kennedy. Marked only with a white cross and a small grave marker showing the name.

The Marine Corps War Memorial